..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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