3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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