Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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