just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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