Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
