Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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