awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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