in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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