I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
