I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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