threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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