I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
