Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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