Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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