you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
