She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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