I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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