i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize