Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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