ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
