so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you will always have a special place in my vag
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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