i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize