if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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