Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
