Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
