i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
