guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Randomize
