Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
These Medical Professionals Recall the Worst Cases of Hypochondria They’ve Seen
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances