Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
