Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
