Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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