btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My pussy is not your playground.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
