Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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