Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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