I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.