Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
