The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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