Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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