D3 body, D1 cock
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
