Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
