I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
