I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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