Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
