no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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