You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize