I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
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Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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