Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
