i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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