So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
