I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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