His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize