awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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