New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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