are you still at the devil's house?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
