That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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