Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
